Christmas Letter

I always intend to write a Christmas letter to include with our cards but either never get around to it or don't quite know what to say. Here's what we've been up to, even though we're probably the only one's who will read it!

As is with most families, we were quite busy. We celebrated birthdays and births. Our nephew Andrew, was born in September. Laurie allowed me to be with them while she delivered. Even after having 4 of my own, it's still such a miracle and I felt honored to be witness to it.

We also grieved the loss of my dear grandmother. This loss was especially difficult for me since she was my only direct tie to my mother. I am thankful for the amazing life she lived and how full she lived it!

We celebrated achievements in sports and school. Enjoyed time with lots of friends and family. Stew continued to coach flag and tackle football and agreed to coach Chase's basketball team this season. I headed up the Monticello swim team for another season and finally felt like I had gotten my feet wet(no pun intended) to really know what I was doing.

Macie continues to grow in her love of singing and performing. She participated in a Glee club, sang in the school talent show and had a part in the school play. She also began confirmation classes and swims competitively.

Chase still adores football and basketball but also ventured into Glee as well. Not surprisingly, he is very comfortable on a stage and has no lack of confidence.

Owen is thriving in school and sports. He played football, basketball, baseball and swam. He is happy as long as he is active but wants no part of being on stage.

Avery makes us laugh and want to pull our hair out all at the same time. She is so funny and sassy and so incredibly independent that it drives me crazy. She played soccer, took gymnastics, swam on the swim team and sang in Glee. She is absolutely meant to be in the spotlight!

Stewart and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary in November. He is still the funniest person I know and has the sharpest wit of anyone around. The kids love it when he gets silly and really lets loose. He is also extremely level headed and rational. I definitely balance him out with my hot blooded temper and my non-stop need to be doing something. We are both enjoying our time with the kids. Although things can be rough at times, we navigate the kids and our marriage together. I can't imagine doing this with anyone else.

Stew's parents are living the life we hope to lead someday. Retired to Florida in winter and Kentucky in the summer, with lots of travel in between. They took Chase to Washington DC for his 10th birthday trip this Spring. They continue to take the kids to Kentucky when they can and make numerous trips to St Louis to see games, concerts and just visit.

My dad is still in Chicago. Whenever the real estate market returns, he will move to St Louis. He keeps busy with tennis and church activities. He had surgery for Glaucoma but seems to be doing well.

We finished off the year with Christmas in St Louis. Elizabeth's family and my dad were here to celebrate. It was the first time in a year we had all been together. I am amazed at our how family has grown and what lovely young men and women our children are growing in to.

We realize how fortunate we are to have each other and are extremely grateful for the life that God has given us. Our blessings are many. Our health is good. Our hearts are full.

Panic

I have to admit, I am a pretty calm parent. There are few things that really get me concerned and injuries to my children are not generally one of them. For example, when Chase split his forehead open, instead of going to the ER, I super glued it back together. I must have that gene where my cool and collected side kicks in when something bad happens.

First, let me start by saying that I can count on both hands the number of times I have not been home to get the kids off to school. It is rare. This morning was one of them. Macie had to sing at a Glee function for a community group so she and I left the house at 6:30. I packed lunches last night, laid out clothes for everyone, put peanut free snacks in the backpacks and left Stew a note about the boys pills.

I arrived back home around 9:10, Stew had gotten the boys on the bus and he was on his way to take Avery to school and then stop by the chiropractor. He threw his back out this weekend and has been pretty much on the couch with ice ever since. We recently switched Owen to a new medication, a pill instead of the patch. Originally the doctor gave me a 10mg pill but upped his dosage to 20mg and then 30mg after we watched him for a few days. We had simply been giving him 3 of the 10 mg pills until they ran out. Over the weekend I filled the new prescription from the doctor for the 30mg dose. I am sure you can see where I am going with this. I talked to Stew around 9 and he asked me how many pills he needed to give Owen. I told him one and he said "uh-oh." He said " I gave him 2. I know he thought he was still giving him the 10mg pills and the last time Stew had given them we had only upped his dosage to 20mg. That meant he had accidentally given him 2x the amount of medication that he normally takes! I immediately went into emergency mode.

I called the school nurse and explained what happened. She told me to call his doctor. I called the regular number and the urgent number and waited 5 minutes without an answer. I could feel my adrenaline begin to race as I dialed poison control. I spoke with a lovely and very calm nurse name Rosanna. She conferenced the nurse at school and asked her to pull Owen from his class. She had her check his pulse and blood pressure and told her things to look for throughout the day. Thankfully, even 60mg is within therapeutic range but was still a lot for his 60 pound body. She reassured me that since he had already been on the medication for 2 weeks that his body would likely handle it well. Had he not already been on it, there could have been more complications. I have since talked to the school nurse twice and his heart rate and blood pressure are fine. I am sure Owen is wondering what all the fuss is about.

Once I hung up and knew he would be ok, I started to cry. I was so relieved that it almost made me sick. I called Stew back and told him. He was apologetic, and though it was a complete mistake, I was glad to hear it anyway. I really have never been faced with a situation that something serious could be wrong with my child. We've had our share of scrapes, cuts, stitches, staples and broken bones. We are very familiar with the ER. Those things just seem like such easy fixes to me. This one really scared me. I am heading to school shortly to have lunch with Owen and see him for myself. I'll feel normal again once I lay my own eyes on him and give him a big hug.

PS-I can't say enough about poison control and the school nurse. I'm sure they see this a lot. Thankfully, I don't and they were able to guide me through it.

PSS-Talked to the doctor after Poison Control and he said he and his wife have done the same thing 2x to their son! That made me feel a little better!

Time

Seriously, where does the time go? It seems like yesterday when all of our days were spent at home. These days that is a rarity. I admit I sometimes long for the lazy days of Sesame Street, naps and playdates at the park. We have had a taste of it this week while the kids are on fall break. I purposely planned nothing. Not one thing. It's been fabulous. We have had lazy days and spent them all at home together. The boys have had the time to really enjoy each other. They have played legos, built forts and jumped on the trampoline to their hearts content. As connected as Macie is to her friends through text and email(still holding out on that cell phone) she has relaxed every day with a good book. I even took her to Target to look at clothes(pretty high class family here!) and she chose to buy 2 books over clothes. Can I just say that I LOVE that about her! Avery has enjoyed having everyone home and a full house of people to play with. I think we all just needed a week of downtime. School and schedules have their place but they are exhausting. I love that they are able to just be kids and enjoy each other.

Fabulous Forty!

Today is my fortieth birthday. I cannot even begin to express the gratitude I feel for having made it this far. So many life lessons under my belt yet still feeling so young and inexperienced in so many ways. I am so thankful for my family and friends for making this so special for me. I truly love each and every person that has called, emailed, texted, phoned or facebooked! It's almost overwhelming to feel that much love. I have enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you!

Firsts...

Summer is literally flying by. We have been busy since day one and I keep waiting for some boredom to set in. It hasn't.

A few firsts in our family...Avery made the swim team! She isn't breaking any records or blazing through the water with blazing speed but she is swimming. My goal for her was to be watersafe this summer and she is. This might be the first summer in 12 years that I don't have to be in the water if I don't want to be! Hallelujah!

Another first(s)...Though Macie has been on swim team since she was 7 or 8, she has never gotten a first place in anything. Her hard work throughout the year has paid off ! She had one meet where she placed first in everything. She even broke the record for her age group in 100 back!!!

Chase will be participating in his first WeGlee concert. It's a concert to benefit our local chapter of Kids Against Hunger. I was nervous at first when he decided to try out but it was all for nothing. He absolutely loves it and it seems to be a perfect fit. He and Macie will even have a duet in the November show!

Owen..it's his first summer of playing real baseball. He's loving it and has even found a position he really enjoys, second base. He has improved a ton since the beginning. We have also really enjoyed the families. It's been a hoot to sit in the bleachers with them.

Stew and I...it's really our first summer of feeling like we don't have a baby anymore. Ironically it's also our last before having a teenager! Macie is able to babysit, Chase is able to stay at home alone for short periods of time. It's strange for us but we are definitely entering a new phase. I can say with all sincerity that I will not miss it. I am ready to do things and not have to get a babysitter or worry about who needs a nap. I'm ready to go out with Stew and leave the kids at home so we can have some much needed (and deserved) date nights. I feel like we are both hitting our stride as parents and as a couple. We're ready for whatever life throws our way...together.

Good things are happening

Just thought I'd post these recent emails from Chase's teacher as a reminder of how far he has come this year. I am so happy for him and I see good things happening everyday! My mom always said there was something very special and sweet about 10 year old boys. Thanks for being right about so many things mom, but especially this! This 10 year old boy is a keeper for sure.

May 11, 2011

Just saw your post on your blog (didn't even know you had a blog) - I sobbed! On Sunday, I was actually crying as I filled out his behavior report and then I even shared with another teacher my conversation with Chase yesterday about his behavior report. Sunday night I just reflected on how much he has grown and how amazing that he has been getting mostly 4's and I don't even have to think about it. I thought about how 1st and 2nd quarter I was sometimes debating between a 1 and a 2. Then after I passed them out yesterday he came up to me and very respectfully inquired about why he earned a few 3's instead of 4's. We had a discussion (which I am not sure if he really grasped) about it which is why I added the note. He even said something like; Can you believe that I am asking why I didn't get 4's. I have changed.

He sees the difference and is confident that he is doing well. He has grown so much and I am so proud of him. I get sad thinking about how close the end of the year is and how this whole group will be leaving. The medicine definitely benefits him but I think he has also matured and grown up a lot this year and is making better choices all around.

Hopefully in a few years I can get Owen in 4th grade too! By the time Avery gets in 4th grade I will be too old!

Talk to you later - we will search for the library book. Just "ignore" those slips for a few weeks. We will be deep cleaning as the end of the year grows closer.

May 26, 2011

Just another example of how much Chase has improved this year….

We kind of just have a “To Do” list on the board. Some kids are finished and scrapbooking and others have a lot to do. Everyone is working and it is not too noisy or anything.

After specials Chase asked to work in the hall because he said he wouldn’t be too tempted to talk and could work better!!

Then it was Spectra time and he asked if he could stay and defended his reasons (all related to work). He went and asked Mrs. Riley and she gave him the okay.

He is working hard today!!

And even better news – books were mysteriously found. I had students turn in books and Elise took them to the library. Mrs. Blasé came back with money for Chase and asked who found them or what happened. Chase was in Spectra. I asked the kids who turned them in and no one raised their hand. Later, ***** told me ***** turned them in out of *** backpack. Sorry! I searched the room but never thought to search backpacks!!!! I told Chase to put the money in his backpack.

Thanks!

ADHD

Say what you will about ADHD but it exists. I have two children that are living proof. I know people think of this as an over diagnosed disease and perhaps it is. But for us it is very real.

It started when Owen entered kindergarten. We had already struggled with the decision to send him. His struggle began immediately. Not with the work but with the sitting. On the first day of school he literally got up, walked across the table and to the door. It never even occurred to him to walk around it. Another day he kicked the door as hard as he could on his way out. As isolated incidents these were no big deal, but his inability to control his impulses and contain himself were a daily occurrence.

At home it was different. He had more freedom and it wasn't quite as noticeable. Plus, we had lived with extra active( a nice way of saying hyperactive) kid since his birth and had learned to accommodate his behavior. There were mornings when I would send him outside to run around the house to burn some energy. There were nights where I would send him outside to run up and down the sidewalk to try and get it out of his system. It never worked.

After 2 long years in school, changing his diet, trying homeopathic remedies and finally behavior modification we decided medication was the route to take. This was by far the most difficult decision we'd had to make as parents. We met with a specialist who diagnosed him and started him on his medication. The results were immediate. A huge weight was lifted.

Thankfully his disease is managed well with medication. It does have it's side effects and the meds only last so long. He has sleepless nights, days where he's not hungry and mornings where I scream because I can't get him to focus until his medication kicks in. Still, it was the right decision for us. I have no regrets.

At the same time of Owen's diagnosis, Chase started having difficulty in school. He is an extremely bright kid but it wasn't the school work he was struggling with. He was having difficulty keeping his mouth shut. He likes to be the center of attention and would do whatever it took to get it. The saying "negative attention is better than no attention" was so true with Chase. Also, homework had become an issue. He would often forget it at school. When he did remember it he would struggle to sift out all the noise in our house that it was near to impossible for him to complete it. His grades suffered. His confidence suffered. Unfortunately for Chase, his teacher was not helpful. She felt he was choosing to misbehave. While I do believe that some of his behavior had been learned, for the most part it was out of his hands. He honestly could not control him impulses to touch, push buttons, talk and argue.

Fast forward to Fourth grade. From the first day of school I had contact with his teacher. She was so supportive and convinced that Chase could do the right things and make the right choices. She arranged his day so that he earned points based on his behavior. He had to check out with her every night for his homework. She even supported him outside of school by attending a football game. As thankful as I was for her, Chase was still struggling. When the teacher told us that his behavior was starting to affect him socially we decided it was time to get help. We had been down this road before. We felt like he had ADHD only his was manifested more through impulsivity and inattentiveness. After seeking professional help we left with a prescription and a load of guilt to go along with it.

It was no magic pill for Chase. It took several attempts before we got it right. It really wasn't until yesterday when his behavior report and grade report came home that my guilt lifted. His grades are near perfect, his behavior is on track and he is happy. It's like the child we always knew was in there finally appeared.

They say at least one parent of a child with ADHD had it as a child. I am certain I am the one. 50% of children with ADHD typically outgrow it by adulthood. I can see that happening with Chase. For Owen, I think he's in for the long haul. For someone who is not a huge fan of medication in general it changed our life. We still have our struggles. There is no perfect cure but I am thankful for what it lets them be. Normal.

Thank goodness for modern dentistry. Owen took a bat to the mouth today at the batting cages. Stew said he grabbed his mouth and had this look of "WTH" on his face. He bled a little and his lips swelled up. Stew finally got a look and Owen had lost a baby tooth and had half of his permanent tooth missing in front and 2 fat lips to boot. He called me and I met him at home. We were at the dentist within 30 minutes and out of the dentists chair in another 20. He x-rayed his mouth and there appeared to be no nerve damage. He sealed the broken tooth and then rebuilt it right there, like an artist using a palette, he painted and matched the color precisely. We go back in a week for some polishing and then in a month for another x-ray. His friend that wielded the bat came by with a Wii game to make him feel better. Owen doesn't stay down long, he was already out shooting hoops. Now he's happy as a clam slugging it out on his new game.

Snow Days

My sister-in-law recently asked if I enjoyed the quiet on the kids snow day. I had to laugh because I'm sure she envisioned the kids out all day while I had the house to myself. Sounds delightful but so opposite of what I have around here, ever!

The kids love snow days and so do I. The kids all head out for sledding with friends and then end up back here completely soaked and ravenous, with multiple non-Parkers in tow. This is our 3rd snow day in a row(Th, Fri plus Sat,Sun, now Mon) and I have had no less than 9 kids here everyday. They are fun. They are polite. They include everyone. They play together. They eat a lot! and boy are they loud! Then they head out to do it all over again. Macie takes my cell phone and they check in with me every hour. They even take Avery to the hill next door. She can totally hang with the big kids. I am glad that ours is the house where they end up but I finally had to tell my 4 no more today! This mama needs to get her house in order!