2 Words

They are the 2 words that women fear most. Breast Cancer. So when my sister called to tell me a little over a week ago that my mom's best friend Sue had been diagnosed, my heart sunk. I have to admit, my first feelings were so selfish. I couldn't imagine life without her. This woman who has meant so much to me throughout my life could die. I mean, realistically I know we all can and will die. It really wasn't so much the dying that scared me, it was the living knowing she wouldn't be here.

After my sisters' call, I knew I needed to speak to her but something in me wasn't allowing me to pick up that phone. I learned a few days later that Sue would be undergoing surgery. I still couldn't find the strength to call.

This is a woman who has great strength. She married Terry when she was 17. No one thought it would work. They struggled and sacrificed and raised 4 wonderful kids. Their marriage is the kind people envy. Imagining a life with a Terry and no Sue is like imagining peanut butter without any jelly. They just go together. Always have, always will.

This is the woman whose house I would come to at lunch time during grade school when I was being bullied. She'd fix me lunch and let me stay the afternoon. Letting me visit and talk as long as I needed. Even offered to send her son Andy back to school with me to face my fears.

This is the woman who opened her home to our family every Christmas Eve from the time I was 4. I have so many memories of spending Christmas Eve there and always looking forward to seeing the same faces each year. Memories that have lasted a lifetime for me.

This is a woman who suffered a devastating brain injury my junior year in high school. I remember coming home from school and being taken to Sue's side at the hospital. I remember seeing her awake for the first time after having been in a coma. I remember how it felt when she couldn't remember who I was. I remember how it felt when she finally did.

This is a woman who makes the most glorious quilts you have ever seen. Each stitch filled with more love than most of us give in a lifetime.

This is a woman who wore a dress to my wedding! If you know Sue, that's no small feat!

This is a woman who sat with my dad while my mother died in her hospital room.

This is a woman whom my children love. They call her "Grandma Sue." Sue and Terry stop by a few times a year on one of their many excursions. My kids love to explore their van, sit in their laps and shower them with questions about their travels. They love them like they love me.

This morning was Sue's surgery. I finally found the courage to call the house hoping to leave a message. I was surprised when Terry answered the phone. He said she was still in surgery but that the nurse had told them the cancer was only in one breast and no lymph nodes. I immediately breathed a sigh of relief. Relief because they had caught it. Relief because I knew I still had time. Time to tell her all the things I've always thought and should have said. Time for more visits. Time for more calls. Time for Sue.

Halloween

Macie got to go trick-or-treating without parents for the first time this year. The boys had fun running around the neighborhood with Stew. Avery and I made it around the block and headed home to hand out candy. She and I probably ate more than we handed out but we had fun.