Monday, December 29, 2008

Christmas

We have traded off holidays with my family and Stewart's since the year we got married. It is simply the easiest and most fair way to do things, always knowing which holiday will be spent where. This was our year to be in Murray for Christmas. I love going to Murray and being with Mimi and Pop. It just feels like home.

Christmas Eve service went off without a hitch and we went home to read "The Night Before Christmas," a tradition since I was a kid. We set out cookies for Santa and sprinkled our reindeer food on the lawn in anticipation of the big guy's arrival. We tucked the kids in bed by 10:30 and not even one got out of bed from excitement. I should have known right there that something was awry.

I woke at 1:30 to Macie telling me that Owen was throwing up. Sure enough, he had managed to get it all over himself and the bed. I roused Stew and he helped me get him cleaned up and tucked back in. Not a half an hour later, Avery decides it's time to let loose of the poop she's been holding on to since Sunday. What a mess and a smelly one at that. After that, Owen was up every hour or so and Avery had one more round of ammo left in that big belly of hers.(I guess prune juice really does do the trick!) Puke and poop are not exactly the sugar plums I had envisioned dreaming of. Needless to say, I drifted off to sleep with Avery on my chest since she wasn't having anything to do with the pack-n-play that she has just about outgrown.

Usually on Christmas morning, we have the kids come wake us so we can go out first and watch them come in to see what Santa has brought. This Christmas was different. Chase wandered in at 6:30am, wanting to know if he could wake the others. I convinced him to climb in bed with me. Stew had long since climbed in bed with Owen to help him as best he could. Next thing I know, it's 9am and Avery and Chase are still in bed with me. They both quickly woke up and we headed out to the family room. There we found Owen, Macie and Stew lying on the couch. Neither of them had looked at their Santa presents. Macie was engrossed in a book with Owen next to her still looking green.

Once they all finally realized it was Christmas morning, they snuck over to see their gifts and check their stockings. They were all very sweet as they surveyed their goodies and showed them to each other.

After a short time, the hangover from the night before lifted and they were in full Christmas mode. Unfortunately for them, they had a lot of waiting ahead of them. Scott and Cindy don't arrive in Murray until early afternoon, they always stay in St Louis to celebrate Christmas Eve with Cindy's family. Steve and Lori get up early and head to Paris, TN to be with her family and see her nieces and nephews open their gifts. This leaves the Parker kids with a lot of time on their hands. A lot of time before a single present is opened. I have to say(and not just b/c I'm their mom) they were extremely patient. I never once saw the greedy gimmies come out while we waited anxiously for everyone to arrive. I am certain that as a child I couldn't have done it. I was so ready to go by Christmas morning that nothing could have stopped me from ripping in to those pretty packages.

We finally opened gifts around 3pm and the kids were ecstatic. They couldn't have been more pleasant, polite and thankful. Exactly the way you want but rarely what you get on Christmas morning. Of course we had our moments but there was nothing major to speak of. Avery had a few, but given that she's nearly 2, hadn't slept and was out of her routine, she held it together pretty well. We had our Christmas dinner and all was well until Owen hurled all over the family room. I guess the little bug was still lurking in his tummy.

When we were tucking them in bed we asked them about what they enjoyed most about the day. We came to Chase and he said "Christmas was really kind of a bummer this year." I asked him what he meant and he said "it just never really felt like Christmas. When we are at home, we wake up and get to celebrate. Our cousins are there and it just feels different. Today we really didn't do anything but wait." I guess from one perspective he may sound like a greedy little boy who had to wait to open his gifts. On the other hand, isn't that really what Christmas is all about? Children? Celebrating the birth of a child and the giving and receiving of gifts in his honor. It broke my heart to hear him say that. He was right though. Christmas is as much about celebrating our savior as it is about seeing that magic in a child's face. That magic that only a child has in their heart. We've only got a few years left where he still believes, where the magic is alive. After that, it simply isn't the same. It kills me to think we took some of that away from him.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

My mom's 69th birthday would have been December 20. Each year it sneaks up on me as I find myself extremely weepy and desperately needing time to myself. I am so mixed with emotions. Anticipation for the coming Christmas and the joyous celebration of Christ's birth. The joy in my children's faces and hearts as they too anticipate this sacred and special event. Yet, I also find myself sad and impatient. Sometimes a little too short with them when they ask me one more time if they can open their presents. A little too quick to say no to their pleas to have friends over. Probably a little too short with Stew as well. I guess you would think after 12 years I would know how to handle it. The truth is, I often don't. I miss her so much but it just seems more raw this time of year. I try so hard to hold it all together but I'm finding it harder this year. Maybe my problem is I try to hold it together too much, when I really just need to let the floodgates open.