The Talk

When we sat down for dinner on Sunday night the conversation that ensued wasn't exactly the type of family dinner talk we had expected. Usually it's the typical "how was your day?", did you like the movie?", "what book are you reading?" type stuff. After all the regular stuff had been sufficiently discussed, one of the boys asked if men could ever have babies. I thought nothing of it as I tried to explain about the ovaries and uterus. They had, after all, seen the birth of their baby sister and know full well what the "parts" are and what they look like in detail! I went on to tell them that Macie had eggs in her and the eggs would someday help form the children that she would have. As Macie was up getting seconds, she stated matter of factly, "yeah but the man has to put his thing in her thing to make an actual baby!" In our initial lapse of parental control and judgment, we asked her to repeat herself! Of course, she did so and we were then certain she had said what we had heard! I thought to myself, " how could this be? my sweet little 8 year old already knowledgeable about the birds and the bees?!" Wasn't it just yesterday she was telling her daddy that she wanted to marry him? It was clear those days were over and we were forging into new parental territory. I asked her to whisper in my ear what the "things" she was referring to were and she told me without fail. She told us that her 13 year old cousin, Sophie, had told her about in on a recent trip we had taken. With that knowledge, I felt that I had to give her the facts. About the time I got pregnant with Avery, Macie had some questions about her body. I borrowed a book from our church library that talked about sex, having a baby, menstruation, masturbation--you name it, the whole nine yards. It comes from a christian perspective with age appropriate language, helping to explain sexuality as a gift that God has given you. I had only let Macie read bits and pieces b/c I didn't think she was ready. Obviously, things had changed. Stew and I discussed it and decided to let her read it. She was elated b/c it had been a long coveted book for her. Lastnight, she went to the bonus room and read it cover to cover. When Stew and I went to tuck her in, we asked her if she had some questions. She did. She shared them and we answered them as honestly as we could . I was amazed at how comfortable the whole situation was. Neither Stew or I were embarassed, in fact, we felt quite happy to be giving her the answers to her questions. After all, we'd much rather be the ones talking to her than other kids who might not have the information correct or understand the implications. We told her that neither of our parents had sat down like this and that it was a learning experience for us all. In fact, I'm certain Stewart learned a thing or two, though you'd think after 4 kids he'd have the science of it all down pat! Anyway, we went to bed feeling we had set her on the right path. One down, three to go!