Say what you will about ADHD but it exists. I have two children that are living proof. I know people think of this as an over diagnosed disease and perhaps it is. But for us it is very real.
It started when Owen entered kindergarten. We had already struggled with the decision to send him. His struggle began immediately. Not with the work but with the sitting. On the first day of school he literally got up, walked across the table and to the door. It never even occurred to him to walk around it. Another day he kicked the door as hard as he could on his way out. As isolated incidents these were no big deal, but his inability to control his impulses and contain himself were a daily occurrence.
At home it was different. He had more freedom and it wasn't quite as noticeable. Plus, we had lived with extra active( a nice way of saying hyperactive) kid since his birth and had learned to accommodate his behavior. There were mornings when I would send him outside to run around the house to burn some energy. There were nights where I would send him outside to run up and down the sidewalk to try and get it out of his system. It never worked.
After 2 long years in school, changing his diet, trying homeopathic remedies and finally behavior modification we decided medication was the route to take. This was by far the most difficult decision we'd had to make as parents. We met with a specialist who diagnosed him and started him on his medication. The results were immediate. A huge weight was lifted.
Thankfully his disease is managed well with medication. It does have it's side effects and the meds only last so long. He has sleepless nights, days where he's not hungry and mornings where I scream because I can't get him to focus until his medication kicks in. Still, it was the right decision for us. I have no regrets.
At the same time of Owen's diagnosis, Chase started having difficulty in school. He is an extremely bright kid but it wasn't the school work he was struggling with. He was having difficulty keeping his mouth shut. He likes to be the center of attention and would do whatever it took to get it. The saying "negative attention is better than no attention" was so true with Chase. Also, homework had become an issue. He would often forget it at school. When he did remember it he would struggle to sift out all the noise in our house that it was near to impossible for him to complete it. His grades suffered. His confidence suffered. Unfortunately for Chase, his teacher was not helpful. She felt he was choosing to misbehave. While I do believe that some of his behavior had been learned, for the most part it was out of his hands. He honestly could not control him impulses to touch, push buttons, talk and argue.
Fast forward to Fourth grade. From the first day of school I had contact with his teacher. She was so supportive and convinced that Chase could do the right things and make the right choices. She arranged his day so that he earned points based on his behavior. He had to check out with her every night for his homework. She even supported him outside of school by attending a football game. As thankful as I was for her, Chase was still struggling. When the teacher told us that his behavior was starting to affect him socially we decided it was time to get help. We had been down this road before. We felt like he had ADHD only his was manifested more through impulsivity and inattentiveness. After seeking professional help we left with a prescription and a load of guilt to go along with it.
It was no magic pill for Chase. It took several attempts before we got it right. It really wasn't until yesterday when his behavior report and grade report came home that my guilt lifted. His grades are near perfect, his behavior is on track and he is happy. It's like the child we always knew was in there finally appeared.
They say at least one parent of a child with ADHD had it as a child. I am certain I am the one. 50% of children with ADHD typically outgrow it by adulthood. I can see that happening with Chase. For Owen, I think he's in for the long haul. For someone who is not a huge fan of medication in general it changed our life. We still have our struggles. There is no perfect cure but I am thankful for what it lets them be. Normal.
